Bluebeard’s Revenge: A change from the norm

I don’t normally rant on my blog. I’m normally nice as pie, even when someone stuff something up in a review, or there’s a problem, it’s sorted out nicely, the people involved know first etc. 

Today I’m not being nice.

You see, I got an email that made me mad. Really mad. And hurt and frustrated and sad.  A whole gamut of emotions before 9am. I hadn’t even finished putting my face on for fuck’s sake. 

Sorry, it really has made me angry. 

I get a lot of press releases. Sometimes from companies wanting to make me aware of a product, sometimes from companies wanting a review, and sometimes from them wanting a little publicity. That’s lovely. I like press releases, I’m nosey. 

This morning, I, like a lot of other people got a press release from a company called ‘The Bluebeards Revenge’ who apparently offer ‘the ultimate shaving experience for real men’.

To begin with, I don’t know what a ‘real’ man is. Is Mr GFB not a real man? I’m pretty sure he was a man at least last time I checked. Though maybe I need to check again (I can’t see him complaining to be honest).

The press release goes on to state:

‘Premium men’s grooming brand The Bluebeards Revenge has broken away from industry norms with the surprising launch of a brand new beer.’

Not that surprising really, collaborations happen, but OK. 

Then sitting in bold was this:

The brand has broken with tradition to create ‘The Ultimate Pale Ale for Real Men’

Now my hackles, already around my ears somewhere, are sky high. 

This doesn’t just insult women, because of course us female types can’t drink beer, obviously, we’re supposed to stick to fizzy sweet things because we are girls. 

But it also insults men. What is a ‘real’ man? Is it a man with a beard? And muscles – wait I know one of those. 

No? Not hairy enough? 

Maybe you’re thinking of a stereotypical beer drinking chap. 

Except that’s Ron Swanson. He isn’t stereotypical and drinks scotch. He is also a fictional character and in real life Nick Offerman is a feminist, and would think this whole thing ridiculous. As does Mr GFB who is also a beer-loving, beardy, hairy, muscular (he’s a cyclist, his thighs are amazing), beer bellied (sorry love but you are) bloke. 

Here’s the thing. Most men don’t know what a ‘real’ man is, and don’t give a shit. Most women don’t know either. We know people. 

All this puts pressure on people, particularly kids to be something they’re not. You can’t be accepted if you’re not ‘real’. 

And this ‘real’ crap is just making out that masculinity (and femininity for that matter) is so fragile it needs defining and redefining and shoring up somehow. Like it’s a piece of glass so thin that the wrong word said a little too loud will make it shatter. Maybe, as it’s pissing so many people off, you should just let it shatter. 

It doesn’t matter. Real men don’t exist. Neither do real women. 

And yet… I still haven’t finished. 

You see the press release also contained this little beauty:

‘The new brew is the product of a unique collaboration between the Devon-based brand and local Hunter’s Brewery, and has already set tongues wagging ahead of its arrival in local pubs and bars later this month.’

Obviously they believe that all publicity is good publicity, because ‘set tongues wagging’ is a polite way of stating ‘pissed a lot of people off’. It’s set tongues wagging, because it’s hugely sexist, hugely offensive and just plain wrong. 

NB:

If you don’t know me (hi!), the above bits may contain a LOT OF SARCASM, because I drink just about everything and am particularly fond of beers, and whisky and gin. I also don’t believe that any drink should be endowed with any form of gender, because unless I’ve been doing it wrong for a LONG time, I don’t drink with my lady bits. 

I also don’t believe that anything, or anyone should be defined by whether we are male/female/gay/straight/bi/trans/asexual/pansexual/black/white/grey/yellowbluepink with polka dots/or by anything really. We should just be people.