Hi, yes, we’re back to Mondays again.
I’ll try and be more consistent and not go randomly off on one, moving stuff to Tuesdays and confuse everything. Everything else is confusing enough.
I’m glad to have this space as a bit of a vent. The last few days have been a bit of a rollercoaster. Good bits, and fun bits, odd bits, and silly bits – then a bump back to reality. And then it was Monday.
So let’s start with the good stuff.
Weights arrived and after this week’s deload, I’ll have a new programme taking into account my new toys. Oh and payday is this week, so I can top up the weights, and start the hunt for a squat rack, or something I can use as a squat rack. Wish me luck.
One of my favourite people dropped off a food care package, and we returned the favour (some of us really do find comfort in feeding others) and we indulged in a huge pile of meatballs and spaghetti for tea on Friday night. I gifted them a Jamaican Ginger cake, using this old recipe of mine. Safe to say it went down well – comfort food at its best.
A new sports bra arrived too. Whilst I adore my SheFit bras (I reviewed them here) I can’t seem to get them in the UK anymore, and I’m loathe to order them from the USA whilst we in the middle of a pandemic. So I’m trying this one from JDWilliams. I’m loving the front zip (not sure I’d go back to a back fastening sports bra now if I can avoid it), and, so far so good. Might try a little run in it, make sure that zip is totally secure. But maybe only around the block first. Just in case.
The consequences if that zip goes don’t bear thinking about.
Alongside treating myself to more weights, I also treated myself to a bit of jewellery – a necklace and ring, from Fuck the Tories. It was a treat matched with a political statement. Given the mess we’re in, the lack of testing (despite very public advice from the WHO to ‘test test test’), the slow approach to the lockdown, the lack of empathy… The list goes on. I felt I needed to make my feelings clear.
Just wearing it makes me feel a little better.
In random things that happened, I can across an article on using household items as sex toys, which unexpectedly tickled me, maybe it was the tiny cucumber used in the image. My brain is being a bit odd in lockdown.
I also noted this article from Them on Zoom getting pissed at being used for sex parties. Loves, don’t get pissed, this is a money maker surely? And so long as they’re not using their work licensed app, surely it should be OK? We’re in an odd situation, and allowing people to have remote sex, is better than no sex. Zoom, you wanted to be a household name, now you really are.
My feed was also filled with another blogger addicted to the trout pout, which meant I had to question… Are they going to get lines specifically from pulling that face so much? Will they be different, or additional to the laughter lines and wrinkles we usually get?
As I say, my brain is odd.
Though I’m told, ‘yes, they probably will, if they don’t hit the botox obvs’. Not my words.
Then on Sunday, after a day of knitting and mending, and asking people on Instagram what this (see the picture below) was, came some news that hit me harder than I expected.
A lifter I’d chatted to on Instagram, Renee Garcia, and her father died due to the virus. I had a wobble. Others I knew wobbled. I wobbled in the comfort of my own home, whilst another friend and lifter wobbled in front of her computer in a hospital where she had to dry her eyes and deal with COVID positive patients. We silently wobbled together, and then I shored her up because she needed it and I was at home, on my sofa, with my cats and my husband, and safe.
It’s OK to wobble. Hell, it’s OK to have a screaming fit at the whole damn thing and how well or badly the powers that be, or our families, or our friends are handling it. It’s OK to be pissed at the kids hanging around the bus stop with their mates.
It’s OK to be sad and mad, and terrified and cry, and rage at it all.
We’re all scared. Or most of us are.
But we find ways to cope. We find stuff to do, whether that’s volunteering, working, supporting others, drowning in Netflix series’ or cuddling up on the sofa with a big bag of crisps. We all deal with it our way.
For me, that’s training, work, cooking and baking, eating and drinking, cleaning, and being useful – however that last bit may manifest itself. Being useful, doing stuff gives me a focus, and lets me put that worried/frightened/angry part of me on a back burner for a bit. Til the next wobble anyway.
Rest in peace Renee. Save me a squat rack – hopefully I wont need it for a while.